(You also don’t want to tire yourself out, so it’s good having various techniques to switch things up.) And the more tools you have in your BJ toolbox, the more things you can switch to in case you get a feeling that your partner isn’t enjoying it as much as they could. “The giver brings their own sense of play and psychological themes-that's what makes it feel good.” Okay, so how do I give a a good blowjob?Įven though blowjobs are often about the psychological thrill, there are still many universal dos and don’ts of giving a great BJ. “A partner brings their own sense of presence and creativity to the blowjob experience,” Kerner says. This person has your most prized possession in their mouth and could easily do some damage with their teeth. There are elements of power, dominance, and submission involved in a blowjob, but also trust. That’s because “the physical pleasure of fellatio is fairly straightforward and in a certain sense, a guy could give himself the same sensations with his own hand and some lube.” “When men talk to me about missing blowjobs or not getting them, they're not usually talking about the physical pleasure they’re talking about the psychological pleasure and what a blowjob means to them erotically,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. Besides, the psychological aspect of having someone’s lips around your penis is what makes blowjobs so enticing for many folks.
(This won’t just make it great for your partner, it’ll also make the BJ experience more enjoyable for you!)īefore we get into the nitty gritty of how to give a blowjob, it's important to note that everyone is different, and what may feel good to one penis-owner might not feel great to another.
Since there are certain variables you can't control, like smell and taste-although that said, you could politely suggest a pre-sex cleaning routine-you should focus on the things you can do to ensure that it's a good experience for all parties, like learning about various positions, techniques, and sex toys for giving a blowjob. There are a ton of questions that can run through your head: What if they don't like it? What if their penis smells weird? What if it tastes weird? What if I get pubic hair in my mouth? What if they want me to deepthroat and I can’t? And even if you are a seasoned blowjob pro, you can still get jitters when your partner whips it out. Giving a blowjob can be a little intimidating if you’ve never done it before.